Divorce cases are never pleasant and they are particularly ugly when children are involved. During divorces fighting for child custody becomes unbearably stressful for the children. This is mostly devastating for kids between ages of 10 to 16; this is the time when children are aware of the struggle between their parents and are unable to choose between them. However, parents usually forget that child custody battles end up abusing the kids psychologically and emotionally. Therefore, there are certain things that parents need to realize and take care of, while fighting child custody battles.
Change in family structure
When parents decide to end their relationship, the most affected members of the family are the kids. Teens find it extremely difficult to picture a world with their parents living apart. The upheaval in their minds is expressed in the form of aggressive behavior. More often, instead of understanding the turmoil in their teens’ minds, parents blame each other for their condition. In extreme cases, one parent would try to get full custody against the other parent. This is extremely emotionally taxing for kids and leaves lasting impressions on their personalities.
While one parent tries to distant their teens from the other parent, they indulge in brain washing them and putting negative thoughts in their minds. These actions actively help destroy the bond of affection between the target parent and teens. However, they forget that by doing this, parents are sowing the seeds of mistrust and doubt that would become defining attributes of their teens personalities in adulthood.
Psychologists have termed this abuse as Parental Alienation Syndrome or PAS, in which parents’ tug of war to win the custody of their children ends up abusing kids psychologically and emotionally. The alienation process takes some time, but during that time so much damage has been done to the teens that they end up losing affectionate feelings for both, or either of the parents.
Keep children aside
Keeping children safe from any form of abuse should be the priority of parents. However, during the battle of egos, they are the ones inflicting pain and suffering on their children. So what should they do to keep their children from any harm?
- The parents should never fight or voice hatred towards each other in front of the kids
- Every conflict should be resolves behind closed doors
- No matter how bitter their relationship becomes, they should always be polite and loving towards their kids
- When the decision of divorce has been made, they should sit together with their kids and explain them together
- Under no circumstances can you make your kids think anything against the other parent or you will lose your teen forever
These are some basic points that parents should consider.