MomLogic recently reported that around 89% of stay at home moms felt that their kids would be happier if they worked, while 46% of full-time working mothers think their children would be happier if they stayed at home. What makes children happier, however, is not the time we spend in or outside the home, but the time we spend building an everlasting communication channel with our kids.
Why is communication important?
A large number of child experts now believe that the initial years of a child are not necessarily the most crucial time spent with the mother. The tween and teen years are the time when parents need to be more present, involved and connected with their children.
So, if you are a working mother and constantly beating yourself up for putting your career before your kids - stop right there! Your teens are not kids anymore; they are standing on the threshold of adulthood. Which is why, your constant hovering over them is not really all that necessary and frankly speaking, will not be appreciated as well. This is the time to build bridges of communication with your teenagers… why?
Knowing is Loving
Communication develops a feeling of endearment. When teens know that their parents or working moms are aware of what’s going on in their lives, it makes them feel loved and cared for. Imagine how you would feel if you wanted to get something off your chest and your parent was too busy to listen? Same is the case with your teen. Children of working mothers feel loved because they feel heard.
Another reason why communication is vital is because; it builds a two way sense of security. As a parent and working mom, you are aware of what is going on in your teen’s life and your teen feels secure in that knowledge. There is little element of surprise at both ends, and as parents we all know that “surprise” is not always what its cracked up to be in movies, when you are a parent of teenagers.
Knowledge is Greater than Presence
Most people especially stay at home mothers take communicating with their teenagers for granted. This may be due to their belief that their physical presence makes up for their lack of communication. Nothing makes up for lack of communication! If you don’t know what is going on in your teen’s life, you might as well be living with a stranger.
This is why more and more experts are advising stay at home moms to take a page out of the lives of working moms, who focus on communication with their teens to make up for their lack of presence. Working moms are usually more in tune with the needs of their teens (not to mention better at meeting them) and deeply familiar with all that is going on in their teens lives.
Working moms are also more aware of the outside world, which makes the teen feel they can easily relate to them, as compared to stay at home moms.
All moms are concerned with the safety, success and lives in general of their children. Yet in a lot of ways, the tools and techniques working moms develop overtime to balance careers and family lives, seem to make them more capable of brining up teenagers than stay at home moms.