Date Rapes: What to tell your teen before they head to college

Campus rape and date rape in college is becoming increasingly frequent. So much so that a clinical psychologist and a former psychology professor at the University of Massachusetts, David Lisaki, fears that it might have become a behavior pattern for college students. Every fall millions of teens pack their bags, leave behind a strong support system and take their first unsteady steps inside the college gates. Some manage to walk through the college years with a steady gait while others need constant instruction. This is the reason why parents need to talk to their teenagers, especially daughters, about serious issues they will be facing on the campus, like date rapes, before sending them off to college.

My child? Never!

In an email to all his fraternity brothers, Mathew Peterson, a Georgia Tech student, doesn’t seem to have any qualms about raping as he maps out a plan of action to trap a date rape victim at the next fraternity party. 1 in every 4 female college students is raped on the college campus, a majority of which happens in fraternity parties. 56% of girls and 76% of boys in high school consider forced sex to be acceptable under some circumstances. 70% of rape victims said they had been raped by an acquaintance. In the ‘rape-bait’ email that Peterson writes to his fellow fraternity members, he clearly advises about how to lure a victim at a frat party and then forcibly have sex with her. Many college students still think that girls who go to frat parties are asking for it. Parents not only need to advise their teen daughters who are about to leave for college about the dangers they will potentially be facing but also tell their sons what rape actually means.

The big talk

Talking to your kid about date rapes is of no use if your child is not listening. You need to have their attention before starting off with the talk about date rapes and forced sex on college campuses. Keep it precise and to-the-point instead of beating around the bush because by the time you get to the date rape topic, your teen’s attention might have wandered off in some other direction.

It is better to have small talks with your child about this so that you don’t add to the pressure that your teen might be feeling by that time about going off to college. Moreover the effect of a big talk about date rapes will ebb away from a teen’s mind in no time. Small talks will keep your teen on their toes constantly. They will be vigilant about potentially dangerous situations that they will be facing in college.

Protection know-how 

Teaching your teen protective behavior is okay but don’t go overboard with it to the extent of making her paranoid. Socializing at college is very important. Telling her to alienate herself from her college mates can make her college life miserable. This is not the solution to the date rape issue.

Every date rape and rape on campus situation is different. There are no specific guidelines you can give to your teenage daughter but the best you can do is to make her aware of the problems and potential dangers she will be facing on the campus without making her uncomfortable about her college mates.

Parental support system 

"I will always be there for you". This simple phrase is going to give your teen assurance that in whatever situation they are, their parents are going to believe them and always back them up.

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