If your disciplines methods backfire too often, then there are high chances you are doing something wrong. Still, do not worry, as we have a solution for your problem. You must have taught your kids that mistakes are what we learn from. Well, it is the time to teach the same thing to yourself. All of us make mistakes. Whatâ€™s important is that we fix them. If you are using any of these ways to discipline your teen, then you immediately need to stop.
1. Shouting and Screaming At Teens
Shouting and screaming is among the common discipline mistakes parents make. Yelling is a symbol of frustration and anxiety. It makes you look weak in front of teens. This technique might work once or twice, but teens eventually get used to it, and a time comes when they take it as a normal daily activity. Shouting and screaming also make teens angry as they feel humiliated and insulted. This makes things worse instead of doing any good.
2. Relying On Others for Teaching Discipline
Some parents rely on teachers and school management to teach teens discipline. This might be an easy way of getting rid of responsibilities, but it gives teens a message that you do not have the power or ability to show authority or that you donâ€™t really care. So, instead of reaching out to the third person, take things in your own hand. You can definitely do it.
3. Playing Good Cop, Bad Cop
Inspired from movies and television dramas, some parents play good cop bad cop. One of the parents is strict, yelling at kids all the time, punishing them and comparing them with other so-called ideal kids living next door. In most of the cases, this bad guy is the father. The other parent acts as a friendly person, willing to do anything for teens. This might be a good idea for remaining strict without letting kids feel unloved, but this makes teen hate the bad guy without even realizing that both of them love him, and are doing this for his benefit.
4. Failing to Remain Consistent
If you punish teen for coming home late one day, and then you do not say a word for the whole next months despite teen coming late daily, then you are giving mixed signals to the teen. He may think that he can stay away from home for as long as he likes, and that you will just punish him once in a while. Parents usually complain that teens do not take their words seriously. How can they take it serious when you yourself are not serious about it?
5. Setting No, Vague or Harsh Consequences
It is very important to make teens aware of consequences they will be facing if they do not remain disciplined and behave well. Setting no consequences gives teens the leverage to do whatever they want. Fear of losing something or getting a punishment creates an urge in kids to follow you, but again, setting consequences is not enough. You have to set relevant consequences. Deducting the pocket money of teen for not completing his homework or getting poor grades is a vague consequence. In the same way, humiliating the kid in front of his friends, grounding him for a month or taking away his smartphone is a harsh consequence. Itâ€™s important that the consequence is relevant and reasonable. Do not be too harsh or too soft. Staying on the middle ground and moderation is the key here.
Did any of these discipline mistakes ring a bell? If yes, then itâ€™s time to stop making them. Instead, stick to the techniques that are in fact effective and leaves no scars on your kids.