Teens are complex creatures, which often leads to them being misunderstood. You may think that your child is stubborn and thus difficult, but if you look at it from another perspective, they may simply be strong-willed. This trait is a perfect shield against one of the most common threats that kids face during their adolescence; peer pressure. Considering their strong-will a nuisance and attempting to break it will only increase their susceptibility to negative peer pressure. Rather than trying to drain the strong-will out of their system, you should focus on nurturing it to help them remain safe during their teen years.

Prevent a rebellion

By taking a hard and fast position, you’ll likely be driving your teen to rebel against you. It’s human nature to resist force. Over the passage of time, it may become habitual for them to defy you and thus ignore your warnings against risky and inappropriate behavior.

Grant them autonomy

Strong-willed teens prefer to do what they think is right rather than blindly following others, which includes you as well as their peers. Taking this as their stubbornness and trying to replace it with obedience can have an opposite and undesirable effect. Therefore, give them a certain level or autonomy, or at least a perception of it. Make them feel like they’re the masters of their own destiny. Instead of imposing your decisions on them, give them choices. This will reduce resistance while letting you have your way, just on their terms, or at least that’s what they would think.

Give them independence

Teens with a strong will don’t take well to be told what to do and what not to. Therefore, grant them their coveted independence by letting them take charge of as many activities as possible. Just convey your expectations to them and then play the role of an assistant rather than a dictator. This way, you won’t just be nurturing their confidence, which can help them from peer pressure, but also teaching them to be more responsible.

Avoid a tug of war

You should try to avoid stepping into a power struggle with your teen and trying to win every time. Doing so will only push them towards opposition. By bossing them, you may end up breaking their strong will and thus make them malleable. Try to aim for a win-win situation by entering into a negotiation with your teen. This will not enable them to keep their strong will intact, but also teach them negotiation skills.

Respect their voice

Keep the lines of communication open and head your teen out to understand their viewpoint. They may be trying to protect their integrity and you’d want to help them do that. It can help strengthen trust within your relationship with your child. This will give you the comfort that they’ll come straight to you when confused or in trouble.

Nurture their self-respect

You need to offer your teen respect and stay mindful of their feelings and emotions. Understand how much they value their self-respect and do whatever you can to reinforce it. Kids low on self-esteem are easily swayed by peer pressure.

It is really important to understand that while we think we know what’s best for our teens, we may be wrong. Treating kids with respect and giving importance to their viewpoint is crucial for their healthy development and protection from various threats, including peer pressure.

Source: https://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1c4uvP/www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child/?_nospa=true#