Parenting with Love and Logic – The Balanced Pathway
For many years, new parents have been learning the technique of handling children from their parents. Unfortunately, it took generations to realize that the styles used by old parents cannot be applied to the modern children. Those were old times when ordering them would make them do anything you wanted. Now they are rebellious, more logical, and have entered into the world of technology where they think they understand everything better than their parents.
Most of the us when face failure in parenting, throw up our hands in stress and feel like we can’t do this anymore. The change in the forms of communication, technology, the internet, cell phones, changes in the nuclear family, and a lot more has changed the way children view life. Now, kids are expected to grow faster due to which they have to face and overcome many challenges. The same is the challenge for modern parents too who seem to be so frustrated because the old methods no longer works on their kids. This is where the concept of parenting with love and logic arises.
What is Love and Logic Parenting?
Love and logic is the process through which parents let children grow through their mistakes and learn from the consequences of the choices they have made in their lives. Parenting with love and logic revolves around two basic concepts:
- Parents do set limits but with the utmost understanding, care, and love. They don’t use threats, anger, warnings, and other such negative behaviors. They set limits by giving them encouraging statements and express their mistakes as opportunities.
- Whenever children make mistakes and misbehave, parents are meant to handle such a situation with care and love. They don’t bash their kids for every little thing they do wrong.
Parenting with love and logic is about maintaining balance where you don’t want to be angry with your kid all the time and at the same time, you want to behave well and understand their responsibility.
Parents want to prepare their kids for life challenges and barriers. They know that it means they will make mistakes and fall and that they must be told that they are accountable for those mistakes. Most parents fail to make their children realize this because they think that telling that it is their mistake will make them think that their parents are mean.
As a result, children learn to give excuses for everything that happens with them and never admit that they made the choices that lead to mistakes. This is what parenting with logic and love is about. You must love your kids but at the same time, teach them the good and the bad so that they can prosper in life.
Basics of Parenting with Love and Logic
Parenting with love and logic is about giving them the calculated freedom and setting limits that are logical to them as well. Here are some of the basic approaches towards parenting with love and logic:
- Shared Control: You must not be authoritative on them all the time. You must not control everything in their life. Let them have a word in everything that matters. Give them control over the things that they can handle easily.
- Decision-making: Let them have their part whenever there is a big decision been made in the family. Adolescents want to be treated like adults, so instead of cutting them off completely, involve them in the decisions that they can take part in.
- Child’s Self-Concept: When you control them completely, tell them what to do and what to not, they often lose their self-identity. Let them explore their selves and let them develop their self-concept through exploration.
- Learn from Consequences with Empathy: Yes, they must learn from their mistakes. But when you make them realize this by expressing anger, they seldom understand anything. Deal them with love and let them know that their mistakes are their responsibilities.
- Set Reasonable Limits: You do want to show them love and care, but at the same time certain things need to be controlled such as their use of social media. You might have handed them a mobile phone but set reasonable rules and limits to its use. You can keep an eye on them if you want to because it is for their protection. Without limits, a child will grow while understanding no difference between right and wrong. Especially in this era of technology, one parent needs to understand the relationship between social media and mental health for the well-being of their kids.
- Make Family Rules: With no rules, there is no family just a bunch of people living together doing whatever they wish to do. Some basic and reasonable rules make you an organized family where you can manage things easily. Let your kids sit with you when you are making these rules so that they know they matter.
Though it is not easy, these basics will make your life easier because then your kid will come to you for everything they need. They will start confiding in you and at the same time, they will learn about their surroundings too.
Discipline with Love and Logic Parenting
You want to pour your love to your kids but you don’t want them giving excuses for everything they do. Teaching them discipline is the key to successful parenting. Here are a few basic things that you need to teach them to maintain discipline in them:
- Build a strong relationship with your kids by encouraging them, appreciating them, and showing them that you care. Let them trust you and confide in you so that you can further teach them a thing or two.
- Don’t argue with them too much. You will lose your energy and the will to do anything else when you argue with kids. You won’t be able to make them understand what you mean in that heated moment. So, take a step back, calm yourself, and go back with a calm mind.
- Show them empathy for whatever loss they have faced. This is a great way of making them accept their mistake and letting them know that you know what they are going through.
- Rather them solving their problems, let them understand and solve their issues on their own. Show them the ways they can use to solve their issues rather than doing that for themselves.
Raising disciplined children is the most difficult task these days but if you are ready for it, you can start it very early. With some patience and love, you can make your children disciple and well-mannered. Just remember, your kids will do what you do.
Parenting with Love and Logic with Parental Control
Your love for your kids makes you think that it is unfair with them if you use parental controls on their devices, but the logic insists you on using it. Well, there is a midway. You don’t have to control them with parental controls, you just have to keep an eye on them. If you think even that is unfair, then look around and notice the cases of mental health issues and suicide among kids because of the issues they faced on digital media. Would you leave your innocent child alone there? Not at all.
Using a parental control app like Secureteen lets you become the smart parent and keep an eye on a thing or two. You can manage their screen time and at the same time, you can know what they are up to with their mobile phones. Most of the dangers and threats come from mobile phones so this is to protect your kids. Use a reliable parental control app like SecureTeen and become care-free about their protection.
Parenting with love and logic comes with lots of challenges for parents, but if you are using the right approach, you can make a big difference and let your kids prosper in their lives with success in every aspect.