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Do you remember what it was like to be a teenager?
Do you remember how difficult was it for you at that time when nothing seemed to make sense? Well, all teenagers go through this span and it is when they fix their certain personality traits forever. They have very little control over their personality, but the surrounding plays a significant role.
This transition from childhood to adulthood is the most challenging for teens. They start regretting their choices and lose their confidence. When their inner issues and concerns go unchecked, they become the victim of low self-esteem. And low self-esteem generates the cycle of making bad choices, regretting them, and developing the wrong perception about everything.
Let’s meet Avinish who is a troubled aggressive kid with low self-esteem. He had no career goals and wanted to leave the studies. He thought of himself as a failure. He had no idea what he wanted and even worse, he was angry most of the time. His self-esteem was worsening day by day until he met a counselor. There, he opened up about his anger and the reason came out to be his father, Sandy.
His father was angry most of the time, and he made him feel that he was of no use. He scolded him most of the time for being a failure and never appreciated him for anything. That led to Avinish’s low self-esteem and difficult behavior. With proper family counseling, Sandy was told that he needed to change his attitude if he wanted his kid to prosper.
Avinish is not the only kid with low self-esteem due to bad parenting. Many kids like him are a victim of this type of parenting, and they suffer for the rest of their lives.
Self-esteem shapes one’s behavior, abilities, and confidence. No matter how talented your kid is, if he doesn’t know how to use that talent to gain success, he won’t be able to succeed. Self-esteem is the confidence that your kid needs to lead his life and make it better.
Low self-esteem can also be the result of body image. Research has proven that there are 44% of girls and 15% of boys who are attempting to lose weight. Over 70% of the girls who attend high school are not happy about their looks. 75% of the girls and boys with low self-esteem are involved in negative activities like bullying, smoking, disordered eating, or substance abuse.
It is seen that almost 20% of teens experience depression before adulthood, thus, leading to low self-esteem. Low self-esteem, if not dealt at the right, can have some bad consequences.
Our own experiences and the way we are treated makes our perception. Teens are usually in a very sensitive emotional state. What they experience in that time makes them develop their feelings about their selves. The most common factors that play a significant role in lowering the self-esteem of teens are:
All these and many other factors play an important role in shaping the self-esteem of teens.
When teens face self-esteem issues, their heads are filled with critical thoughts. These negative thoughts lead to poor decision making power. As a result, the kids often end up making bad decisions.
The bad choices they make lead to harsh self-judgment and negative perception of one’s self. They end up regretting their choices and questioning their abilities. When they have nagging feelings of inadequacy, it stops them from learning from their mistakes. Neither they learn nor they become positive. Instead, this cycle of self-esteem;continues.
Low self-esteem makes teens hesitant to talk to new people and express their honest opinions. But the negative thinking continues and it makes its way to dangerous behavior and risk habits.
Los self-esteem in teens can result in the following behavioral changes:
Sometimes, parents don’t tend to realize that their teen is suffering from low-self-esteem issues. Parents who are so busy in their lives are somehow ignorant of the issues their teen is facing. Moreover, teens don’t come out and say that they have low-self-esteem. They need to be evaluated by their surroundings, especially their parents. Parents should keep an eye on their teens and observe what changes are happening with them.
There are few habits or changes that can be observed by parents if they want to know if their teens have low self-esteem.
One of the most visible signs of low self-esteem is when teenagers walk with their heads down. This is a physical demonstration of embarrassment and shame.
Teens who think they are worth nothing and cannot walk with everyone else, they seldom make eye contact in a conversation. They avoid making too much connection, assuming everyone thinks negative about them.
Are you worried that your teen is being aggressive? Well, it happens with them when they think that no one likes them. They end up showing these weird behaviors to compensate for the feeling of being less than others.
Apologizing a lot means they are involved in some sort of guilt. Teens always try to prove themselves the better ones, but still, they feel that they are not. They develop this guilt of being wrong in everything, and thus, they end up apologizing a lot.
Do they leave the room when you tell them that someone is coming? If yes, then they think that they are unlikeable and nobody would want to talk to them. And if they talk, they will end up being called stupid.
Now that you are completely sure of your teen having low self-esteem, you need to take some necessary steps to help him. If you don’t help him, he will remain like this forever. Parents can elevate their teen’s self-esteem more than anyone else. However, it isn’t any difficult thing to do. Most parents do it regularly without even realizing that their actions and words have a huge impact on their kids’ mental status.
So, being a parent what can you do to increase your kid’s self-esteem? Here are a few tips that you can follow to do that. Not that most parents don’t know, but it is still safe to say that these are the things that every parent should do regardless of any need.
A parental control app lets you monitor your kid’s activities. This way you can see if they are facing any issues in their digital life that might be disturbing them. Once you know, you can overcome those issues immediately before your kid’s self-esteem is disturbed.
Most parents are very eager in telling their kids about the negative things they are doing. But they don’t express themselves when they feel good about their kids. Your teens don’t know when you are proud of them, so tell them. Share your feelings with them and appreciate them for the good they possess.
A psychologist has researched that negative self-talk leads to anxiety and depression. Therefore, it is important to teach your teens to talk good about themselves. For example, “it is okay if our team lost today”, or “I will do better in the next exams”. It will help them develop a positive self-image.
Some parents use harsh comments and bad words when they are criticizing their children about anything. Parents need to learn to criticize them in the best way possible. Because bad criticism can easily turn into shame and ridicule for them. Therefore, parents need to have a decent conversation about the things bothering their kids and do not try to put pressure on them.
Parents should help them make small decisions about their life and then appreciate them for making the right decision. If they make the wrong one, consult with them nicely and teach them how can they make better decisions.
This is the time when you want them to be independent regarding many things including relationships. If you had always been the one fighting their fights, stop that. Be friendly with them, so that they can come to you when they are stuck or need consultation. But give them the freedom to make their choices in a relationship. And, tell them that you will be there with them no matter what they do.
Parenting is all about exploring new ways to manage your child. Teenage is a difficult period for the kids and you ought to understand their self-esteem matters a lot for their future life endeavors. Be with them, and help them grow.