Implementing House Rules for Kids- Get Help from Parental Control App
There is a famous saying, “It’s not how big the house is, it’s how happy the home is”. This goes without explaining that a chaotic and messy house is not a home. A home requires harmony, understanding, and some set of rules. Rules are not there to make a restricted environment, but the purpose of making house rules for kids is to teach them the basics of living.
Parents are encouraged to set some house rules to induce peace in their homes. Adolescence is the age of lots of confusion and rebellion. If set free, the teen’s attitude can create a lot of stress in a home. You don’t need to put a lot of restrictions on them; just some basic etiquettes can do much good in their upbringing.
Do I Really Need to Make House Rules?
Most of the parents tend to run from this responsibility as they think of it as an extra. Here is an article, where the need for making house rules is very well explained. As it states that Dr. Meg Meeker said, “teens need to learn self-control by setting rules for themselves, but the only way they learn this is by first having rules imposed on them”
Even if you find it difficult to impose rules on this rebellious creature, you are doing them a big favor. Along with self-control, these rules make them learn accountability, flexibility, and responsibility. The abilities they learn from these rules make them a better person for the future.
Moreover, they realize how much freedom they can handle. Parents often make the mistake of never revising the rules. Teens change every day and thus their rules should also change. They should be given freedom according to the amount they can handle.
A mother of three kids, Jane Bucknell shared in an article published on The Guardian that she let his son go on a solo flight from London to New Zealand when he was only 12. She was in fear and stress all the time, wondering if she had made the right choice.
But it turned out to be so perfect that her son became more mature and confident after that trip.
She insisted that we shouldn’t hold our kids too tightly, we might lose them that way. That is the same case with making house rules for them. You ought to make them carefully to keep your child on the same page as you.
How Should I Make and Implement House Rules for Kids?
If you want to make the rules that your kids enjoy and follow, involve them in the drill. This way kids will feel the importance and value of their words in family matters. Let’s take a look at this article to have a good idea about the categories for rules you should consider. You should make rules that promote safety, morality, healthy habits, enhance social skills, and make them ready for the real world.
When you have decided on the categories, now is the time to have a proper conversation with the kids and get it on the track. As explained in this article by yourteenmag.com, you can follow these acts to successfully make and implement house rules:
1. Start the Conversation
Start establishing some limits with your teens based on the priorities you both have. Share some limitations with them and then ask them to think. Have another meeting and air some issues that you might be facing in the house. Have a few meetings like this and let them speak their minds. This way they will feel ownership.
Author of “How to keep your teenager out of troubles and what to do if you can’t”, Neil Bernstein says, “imposing rules and consequences without acceptance by your teen will likely be ignored”
2. Negotiations Should Be Welcomed
Most parents tend to impose their order on their teens like “don’t eat that” or “you can’t go out”. As they grow older, they will less likely respond to such orders. The right thing is to give them a few options and let them choose. Being parents, script the options that you are okay with, and let them choose any.
3. Excessive Rules Might Backfire
If you are about to impose some rules without any flexibility, you need to think twice. They are human beings, not robots. It is seen that kids who grow up in such a restrict environment end up being sneaky and angry.
Bernstein says, “kids tell me it doesn’t matter what they do because they will be punished anyway- so they might as well break the rules”.
4. You Can’t Avoid Tension
Some decisions are right but they might create some tension. Understand that you can’t make them happy all the time. When you are not putting restrictions on everything, some things might require strict decisions. Make them without being afraid of the tension.
A psychologist Suzenna Schnapps says, “daily parenting decision might be unpopular, resulting in parent/child relationship, but to accomplish the long-term goals, tension is unavoidable”.
5. Consequences are Inevitable
Without consequences, there are no rules. You must make it very clear to them that breaking or not following rules will result in consequences. There should be a proper conversation about it. Consequences or punishments should match the intensity of offense, but make sure that it does good for you.
There are high chances that good consequences make them less likely to repeat the same behavior. Just be sure that you are not making the situations worse. Think beforehand, what type of consequences will suit that situation best.
6. Using Parental Control App to Implement the Rules
Sometimes communication is not enough. Some teens are so rebellious at this age that they think their parents can’t do anything if they don’t follow the rules. To show your authority and better understanding, parents can use the parental control app such as SecureTeen to control their digital life. You can decide their screen time and monitor their activities.
This way, not only you will get to know them better, but they will also get the idea that you have the authority. You don’t need to be so strict about this either. Once your kid has understood your value, be flexible with them to earn their trust. Parental control apps can help much in achieving then a goal in a better way.
7. Revision is Must
Don’t just make rules and sit down for months. Your teens are growing every minute. So, make sure to revise your rules accordingly after every few weeks. You can also upgrade the rules once you see that they have made their peace with the present rules. Don’t forget to involve them while adding new rules and always appreciate them.
Making rules shouldn’t be a big issue, but parents should consider the right way to do. Here is a video by Dad University, where it is clearly explained what you should and shouldn’t do while making the house rules for kids. No matter what way you acquire, be patient with your teens as they are not having an easy time either.