Bullying has been witnessed for over centuries in various communities. There wouldn’t be any person who hasn’t been bullied in his/her entire life at one time or another. Whether you’re at school, university, or at work, you must have come across bullies who’ve tried to oppress you in some way or the other.
Bully Overpowers the Victim
When the victim is being oppressed by the bully, he/she doesn’t retaliate and bear the oppression. They often take solace in an assumption that not responding to the bullies and living well is the best revenge. They believe they will tend to be happier and lead normal lives whereas karma will slap bullies in their faces, as a result, they will lead miserable lives. However, to their shock, this rarely happens.
In our society, we see the opposite side. Latest studies have shown that bullies tend to lead healthy and successful lives whereas the victims of bullying are left to deal with emotional and physical problems. The ones who are bullied are often found having problems while dealing with their life matters and they also become socially unavailable.
Once you understand the real theory of bullying, you might know how to stop it from happening altogether and also make your teens follow the same practice.
Bullying is Dominance Behavior
Sociologists have been studying bullying for many decades now. They do not call it bullying but refer to it as dominance behavior where people try to overpower others just like what happens in the animal kingdom. Research has suggested that animals, including humans, enjoy good health if they have a higher social status. Those who dominate over others have more control and thus experience rich health benefits with lower stress. Similarly, humans who have dominance over the others in the form of better socioeconomic status have improved health and a lower stress level and they tend to live happily. So, as per various theories on bullying, it is proved that a person having a higher social status can overpower another or show dominance over the other without getting retaliated by the victim having a lower social status.
Video source: VT via Brooks Gibbs (@brooksgibbs)
As displayed in the above video, it is said that most of the bullying experts agree on thing – bullying is an imbalance of power where one person (bully) is trying to have power over the other (victim). Bully wants to see the victim lose and enjoys in winning the game.
Stop Bullying the Right Way
When a bully tries to have power over the victim, in some cases, the victim will also strike back. Whenever the victim tries to retaliate by becoming upset or showing anger, the bully will make fun of him. The more anger the victim shows, the more fun the bully is going to have.
So, what’s the correct way to stop bullying? How should teens not let bullying affect them?
Showing signs of emotional strength and resilience will allow the bully to fall flat on their face. Instead of reacting to their dominance behavior, the victim needs to show that he/she is resilient and is not affected by their oppression. No matter what the bully says to the victim, he/she shouldn’t care. Even after facing relentless teasing, taunting, and bullying, the victim should decide not to get upset. They should remain calm and maintain having a tough skin. They should allow the hateful, mean words from the bullies bounce right off them.
Teens should be taught that bullying is nothing but a game where one party wins over the other. By not getting upset by the hateful remarks from the bullies, they can win this game and make the bully lose. And in the middle of the game, when the bully realizes that he’s losing the game, he wouldn’t play the game at all. He would simply step back and leave the victim alone.
When you think of bullying as someone is hurting your feelings, you can follow the same practice as mentioned above: do not get upset. However, some people term bullying as violence i.e. someone trying to punch your face. Let it be clear then that’s not bullying. That’s assault. That’s crime. Someone trying to hit you should get you upset and he should be punished for that crime.
So, it’s critical to understand the difference between bullying and violence. If people learn to differentiate bullying with other behaviors, they can handle it the right way. Similarly, cyberbullying can also be tackled.