Most of the times, parents get petrified about teen rebellion and want to avoid it at all costs. They fret while handling rebellious teens because they do not want to put their relationship with them in danger. They don’t want their teen to run away from them and become secluded.
Teen rebellion is not a new concept for most of us, especially parents. It has been around ever since children inhabited the earth. Even you would have acted defiantly as a teenager. Remember constantly yelling over nothing or slamming doors? Every teen would undergo this tumultuous phase. But the question is, why do teens become rebellious? What are the underlying causes of teen rebellion? Understanding why your teen is acting defiantly is crucial to understand what you can do about it. Let’s highlight some of the reasons why your teen is rebelling:
When kids enter into their adolescent years, they may struggle for knowing their own identity. They may constantly ask themselves questions like, ‘who am I?’, ‘what am I doing here?’, ‘what’s the purpose of my life?’ etc. While pondering upon such questions, they’re actually trying to know more about their existence and individuality. When parents pay no heed to their questions, they end up assuming everything on their own. They become rebellious and want to take decisions for themselves.
Struggling for independence could be one of the reasons of teen rebellion. Understandably, when a kid moves into adolescence, he would expect to attain more freedom and independence from his parents and family. This is something any normal teen would demand. However, the real problem begins when some parents unconsciously confuse independence with rebellion, thinking their teen might be slipping out of their hands. Their reaction towards teen’s growing independence may actually become the cause of rebellion. For example, you would not allow your teen to hang out at the mall or a restaurant with his group because you are fearful of the trouble he could get into. This will eventually make your teen rebel by sneaking out without your permission.
Teens like to have a substantial control over their lives. Gone are the days when parents used to control their teens and decide everything about them – what their teens would wear, where would they go, whom would they meet, etc. When kids become older, they like to enjoy taking authority over their actions. They want to control their life on their own. However, they do not like when parents become authoritative and enforce their decisions on them. When this happens, they tend to defy their actions. They rebel when parents do not trust their decision-making abilities.
There is no denying the fact that teens do get influenced by their peers during adolescence. Peer pressure influences them to a great extent. Teens want to adopt the lifestyle of their peers, want to become a part of their crowd, and want to desperately fit in. They feel the pressure of doing what everybody else is doing. While doing so, they might even risk losing their own individuality. They might forget their own likings. They might become someone else and entirely adopt someone else’s lifestyle. The pressure of fitting in a crowd leads to rebellion. They no longer live a life of their own and want to become someone else. They would not even listen to their parents or family members and do whatever they feel is right. They forget to accept who they really are.
Teens may do anything to garner attention. They love when someone pays attention to their appearance, to their actions, and to their lifestyle. They want people to notice them, and they’d do anything to seek attention. Lack of attention from parents can cause them to seek attention from wrong people in many wrong ways. For instance, teen girls, when not getting positive attention at home, would go out and seek solace from her peers. They might influence her negatively; guide her on the wrong path and ask her to do all the bad things.
Being a parent, you need to understand how critical it is to know why your teen is rebelling. After identifying the underlying causes, you can help your teen and make him or her see a clearer picture of reality. When you find your teen acting rebelliously, you should not lose temper but rather act in a calmer way. Cut them some slack. Allow some freedom and let them make wise decisions. Remember, only you can help your teen by properly guiding them through this hard time.