Bullying is a problem faced by schools across the US. Considering the dire implication of the behavior on those involved, this is not a pretty situation. Efforts to uproot it from the system heavily focus on helping the victims and teaching students how to fend for themselves. However, it’s equally important to understand why bullies behave the way they do. One thing that has been learned over the years is that low self esteem in children increases their tendency to perpetrate aggression towards others. Bullies are often considered to be a prime example of this, and rightly so. Not feeling completely satisfied with themselves, they go about searching for fulfillment through abusing their victims.

Attention Grabbing Tactics

Since bullies have low self-esteem, they are desperate to do something about it, something that would make them feel more content with themselves. Reacting in a similar way to the situation as any other kid would, they start seeking attention to give their ego a boost. However, this is as far as the similarity goes. Due to their poor social skills, they are not good at attracting attention by sticking to socially acceptable antics. Realizing this, they opt to go for something that they feel more comfortable with, picking on their victims. This doesn’t just get them the attention they crave, but also allows them to feel important and powerful.

A Dangerous Addiction

The boost to ego at the expense of victims is generally of temporary nature, after which their self-esteem slips back to where it originally was. Desperate not to fall back into their suffering, bullies top up their ego again through continued episodes of bullying. This leads to aggressive behavior becoming a habit.

Leveling the Difference

Bullies are commonly seen to go after victims whom they see as smarter, more popular, or superior in some other way. Coming across such people makes them even more conscious of their perceived shortcomings. Fearing that this feeling of inferiority may become permanent, they attempt to rid themselves of it by harming that person. The intention is clear: damage the victim’s self-esteem and bring it down to the same level, if not lower, as their own, thus eliminating the difference.

Saving Bullies

Bullies may be difficult to deal with, but that doesn’t mean they need to be given up on completely. Parents and teachers can curb their impulse to act on their aggressive tendencies by help them develop better social skills. This way, they’d be able to connect more easily with their peers. Furthermore, they need to be taught to turn to healthy ways of boosting their ego. This may include performing better in studies and extracurricular activities such as sports. Helping bullies develop empathy can make them more considerate of other kids’ feelings. Parents and teachers should make efforts to help bullies and potential bullies realize that it’s far the better to be respected than feared.

Bullying is a problem that needs to be handled cautiously and tactfully. By focusing on the factors that contribute to such behavior, it is possible to show bullies an alternate, more appropriate path.

Source: www.calmpeople.co.uk/self-esteem-and-bullying/