It is disturbing to catch your teenagers watching porn. It is an alarming introduction to human sexuality which can quickly become a preoccupation. It is crucial that we as parents remember that curiosity towards sex is natural. 40% American teens watch their first porn clip before the age of 13. What is not natural is the extreme and often violating nature of sex shown in these porn videos. It is a far cry from the days when kids stumbled upon their first Playboy magazine. Seeing your child watch porn on the internet is both alarming and disappointing but it is important that parents respond with empathy and concern instead of anger and judgment. Your response can shape the way your child views sex. The most important step is to leave a door open to an ongoing conversation between you and your child.

Understand that most kids watch porn before they turn 18

25% of the webpages on the internet are devoted to porn. Almost 40% of kids are most likely to watch porn before the age of 13. It often happens by accident but quickly turns into a preoccupation and then an addiction. All it takes is an innocent search or a naïve click at a link to open the world of porn to your teen. You must understand that you may have caught your kid watching porn but there is no way of stopping it.

Try to remain emotionally neutral

This is a hard one. Parents have very strong feelings on discovering that their teen has been watching sexually explicit content. It is difficult for them to hide their feelings at this time but it is more important not to judge your teen. This will increase their shame and that is not helpful. They are less likely to listen to you and share with you. Remember this is not an emergency situation where you have to rush to control the damage. Take your time to diffuse your own feelings and then talk to your teen about it.

Talk in positive terms

In such a situation, it is easy to fall prey to the bad language but you have to explain to them why you interrupted them while they were having a good time. Teach them to see sex as a healthy and good activity. Imply that you would actually like them to have good, fun sex when they are adults. Help them understand what the long-term implications of watching excessive porn can be. Make them read researches about how extensive viewing of porn can result in sexual dysfunctions.

Talk about the fallacies of porn

If they have been watching porn, there is a chance that they have seen it all. It is time to have a frank conversation about the mechanics of porn, the realities and the fallacies. Help them understand that porn is not the way most sexual encounters occur. It you haven’t already then it’s time to talk to your kid about masturbation too.

Be open to questions

Tell your teen that there is no need to be ashamed of the situation and you are there and willing to talk about it and answer questions. Most teens want to talk to their parents. Encourage them to ask questions by initiating the conversation. This might not be comfortable but pretend it is to make your teen feel less ashamed.