A Pew Research study has reported acceleration in the number of single fathers holding the custody of their children. Since 1960, the percentage of fathers bringing up their children single-handedly has risen from 1% to a substantial 8%. Experts don’t see the number toppling in the recent future, especially since the number of single moms rearing children has been remarkably higher since the last five decades. Law experts welcome this shift in the roles of parents but do child psychologists agree?

Child custody trends and caregiver roles through the years

According to an estimate, half of all the babies born to married couples will lose their families before they cross the age of 18. For children born outside marriage, the prospects of losing a parent are even higher. The parent who doesn’t hold the custody of the children suddenly feels threatened and their role in the children’s life shrinks.

In the early years of American republic, the resolution of such cases was almost always predictable. Fathers got the sole custody of the children as they had property rights to their children which mothers didn’t. This approach gradually changed as the 19th century passed by. Mothers by nature were thought to be better to care for children, especially those younger than 13. This concept stayed dominant till the mid-19th century, endorsed by several medical theories that cast women as more nurturing than their male counterparts.

In the 1950’s and 70’s, divorce rates soared. Women rejected the limits that were put on them earlier and played dynamic roles in the corporate world rather than staying at home as a caregiver to their children. Men strived for a larger role in the upbringing of their children. The trend of mothers holding the sole custody started to be considered obsolete and the earlier idea of women as the primary caregivers was gradually being replaced by the ‘best interest of the child’ concept. Since 1960, there has been a rise in the number of single fathers holding the sole custody of their kids.

Why more and more daddies want custody?

Research suggests that dads are now adopting a more nurturing and caregiving role than they did in the past. A few decades ago, if the child was young, mom was given the custody and nobody questioned it. Today the society dynamics are changing. The single mother is not just a school teacher or a secretary but also a principle, a doctor or a lawyer. And that really affects who does what when it comes to parenting a child.

What does child psychology say?

Two psychiatrists, Albert Solnit and Signmund Frued’s daughter, Anna, along with Joseph Goldstien, legal scholar and a psychoanalyst at Yale Law School, devised a theory. The theory pointed out that every child has a ‘psychological parent’. This ‘psychological parent’ is the primary caregiver on whom the child relies on for affection, security and fulfillment of their life’s basic needs. For a majority of children, the ‘psychological parent’ is the mother.

Separating a child, according to the study of the three child mental health experts, would mean lifelong damage to the child’s mental health. Wrought with concept of rejection and distrust, the child would grow up to have a low self-esteem and confidence in the outer world. Tearing a child away from the psychological parent disrupts the process of internalization of the parents leaving the child unable to walk confidently in the outside world.